As my friends already know, I'm only just now starting my second semester at SUNY Binghamton, even though this is supposed to be my fourth and final year. I transferred as a junior, which most everyone at my old school advised me against, to get away from all of the awfulness that was SUNY Purchase.
I didn't do so well in high school, well, because it bored me. I was an indifferent teenager who woke up in the morning hating the institution that I felt forced to go to. My SAT scores were great, but since my GPA was mediocre I didn't get into the colleges I wanted to. I had to settled for not my second, not even my third, but my FOURTH choice school, SUNY Purchase, a place that I felt had nothing to offer me. The campus was a dump (still is) and had no noteworthy programs except for those in the arts. Once I was there, though I started to feel a little different. The campus was small, a feature I liked because that meant that I could never get lost, and I made a great group of friends who I considered to be my sisters. But the longer I stayed, the worse things got for me. When I was a sophomore I discovered alcohol and lost one of the greatest friends I'd ever had. Instead I chose to become friends with a girl who had a few problems of her own, and turned all of our mutual friends and acquaintances against me in the beginning of our junior year. She had a mental issue, which she refused to seek treatment for, and not only lied compulsively, but actually believed them to be true. One night she started a rumor that I wished her and all of our friends dead, a statement that I in no way even hinted at. Nevertheless, my friends believed her, without even consulting me. I got cyberbullied and harassed in public. I didn't even want to leave my room anymore, because I could never go outside without passing someone who hated me. When I saw someone I knew I was never sure if I could wave hello to them, because I never knew if they would wave back. Then one of my roommates threatened to kill me. And then the only friend I had left pulled out of our plans to room with me the following year.
There was nothing left for me at that school. I knew if I was doomed to spend my senior year in misery and not be proud of the degree that I would earn. I got so depressed I couldn't even come up with a topic for the senior project that I was supposed to get started on. Nothing really seemed to matter anymore because I literally had nothing left to loose. That was when I decided to transfer. I didn't care how many of my credits transferred over, or if I had to stay a semester or two longer at my new school. I just wanted to get OUT. When I told my plans to the few acquaintances I had left, they all full out bashed the idea. They said regardless of my motives, I shouldn't "let" people bother me or get in my way of graduating on time. I guess that's an easy thing to say when you don't feel depressed to the point that you can't get out of bed in the morning after you've been up all night crying yourself to sleep. They couldn't understand how toxic that environment was for me. If this had happened to me in high school, people would have been nothing but sympathetic. But since I was an adult I should be able to "ignore" the bullies, even though they were continuing to viciously attack me every chance they got, despite my attempts to apologize for a comment that I never even made.
I'm happy that I transferred schools. I'm actually HAPPY. In a year's time I will have graduated from the number one SUNY school, with excellent grades that I wasn't getting at Purchase. I have found a peace within myself that I never even dreamed. That was worth all the risks of transferring.
Forever the honest,
Stephanie Lato
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