But I Don't Want to be an Adult Yet!

Every single year I hear my fellow college-goers talking about internships and jobs that they're getting over the summer, and grad school this, MCATs that.  We're graduating next year!  We're graduating this year!  Only one semester til we graduate!  Oh my God, we graduate tomorrow!  All of that banter serves only to remind me about an encroaching, uncertain future, that I'm not yet mentally prepared for. Having been diagnosed with my first illness when I was 10, I never got the chance to finish out my childhood.  The harshness of reality turned me into an adult before I even hit puberty.  Because of that I do often feel too mature for my age, like I'm a forty-year-old with a really young looking face.  But the thing is, I can be really immature for my age too.  If I am required to take a class to graduate I'll put it off for as long as I can if I have no interest in it.  I frequently space out in classes to daydream about a place more interesting.  I cry whenever I get disappointed.  I still watch Spongebob.  I want to get married in a castle.  While I'm mature to the point of being obnoxious 90% of the time, I'm desperately trying to recover my lost years of childhood the other 10% of the time.  I thought that I didn't want to talk about the future, or hear about it, or even make plans for it because I can just be a very indifferent, miserable person.  But really it's because I know when I graduate college I won't have any more chances to reclaim my childhood.  It scares me to death.  How can I know how to be an adult when I never truly grew up?

Forever the honest,
Stephanie Lato

The Threat of the New Girl

My new apartmentmate moved in yesterday, and I can say that I really like her, which is big coming from me.  I have a lot of trust issues and on top of that I can sometimes be quick to judge people for the oddest of reasons.  I was very pleasantly surprised by myself, but not surprised by how my other two roommates reacted to her arrival.

When our previous fourth roommate moved out the other two were talking about how they don't want someone moving into her empty room.  They did not explain their reasoning, and refused to answer when I asked.  All they said was how they were praying that no one else would move in the following semester.  Now, this is a ridiculous hope.  There are literally thousands of undergraduates at this school, a good amount of them living on campus.  In fact, there are so many students that the school is currently having a whole new dorm community built to accommodate any possible overflow.  There literally was never any hope of having three people living in a four person apartment.  When I explained this, one of my roommates confessed that the next girl to move in would soon move out because she intended on scaring her.  She also admitted that our other roommate would back her up and join her to make this girl feel so uncomfortable that she would have no choice but to leave.  So once the new girl, K, came in, my roommates had nothing but bad words to say about it.  K has many food allergies, and that was why she had to move into our apartment.  She could not eat at the dining halls because they cross contaminated foods, giving her many allergic reactions last semester.  She brought her own food, her own cooking utensils, and her own pots and pans to avoid any allergic reactions.  I can understand this because I have food restrictions of my own.  No soy, no dairy, a limited amount of fats and sugars, and a limited amount of alcohol.  I'm also quite used to it because my sister has a somewhat limited food vocabulary, and I've gotten used to cooking for her to accomodate that.  For me, this was no problem.  K wanted to have her friends over so that they could see her new place.  They were freshman, and they all live in dorms, so it was a different experience for them.  They were making every attempt to control their noise level, which was minimal, but I assured them that it wasn't a problem.  

Immediately when K's friends came over, one of my roommates had to lock herself into her room.  When the next one showed up, the one who intends on scaring her to death, she immediately came into my room and asked who all of those people were.  Somehow she couldn't quite figure it out for herself. When I told her they were K's friends, come to see her new apartment, a distressed look crossed her face.  My shut-in roommate emerged from the dark confines of her room to say we should have an apartment meeting about it.  

Forest came over and we spent our time together in my room for some privacy and some Honey Boo Boo.  By the time he left K and her friends had gone out and my roommates had just come back from grocery shopping.  I could hear them whispering conspicuously in the kitchen, so I went out to have a listen.  Together they were expressing how inconvenienced they were by K's reasonably sized canister of cooking utensils and moved it from one side of the stove to the other (why?).  Then they said how they would love for her to have an allergy attack.  They knew K was somewhat uncomfortable with alcohol, so they schemed that they should always have a bottle of wine in the fridge to deter her from...living?  Maybe?  One of them also went on to say how she had such a blistering headache from all the noise K's friends had been making, and how she hoped they weren't going to keep her up at night.  (K's friends were over at 3 in the afternoon.)  I'm not really sure why they are acting so aggressively to a girl who they only briefly met for a few seconds, who is friendly and polite, and makes every effort to keep our apartment in the order we had it in.  I don't know why they have to criticize the fact that she keeps her sanitary supplies in the supply closet, which is always shut, or why they are pretending to be inconvenienced by her food allergies, but it's already gotten on my nerves.  If it wasn't enough that they were doing this kind of thing to me last semester, now they feel they have to be even worse to this lovely, charming girl.  If I were acting this way towards one of them it would be a fiasco.  But since they're the ones doing it, they've reasoned that it is somehow okay.  I know the "golden rule" is such a cliche, but it's appropriate.  Treat others the way you would like to be treated.  Especially when that "other" is a really nice person who wishes no ill upon you.  

How am I to turn this around?  I know that if the two of them acted so outrageously negatively on the very first day they knew her, it will in all likeliness only get worse.  But I've had so many roommate issues in the past that I want to remove myself from any confrontation instead of engaging in it.  I've learned that unless someone's actions are interfering with my grades, my sleep, or the way I feel about myself, the fight just isn't worth it.

...But they did bring up how I "ate all the brownies" again last night, and that almost got crazy.  I don't even like brownies.

Forever the honest,
Stephanie Lato

A New Place

As my friends already know, I'm only just now starting my second semester at SUNY Binghamton, even though this is supposed to be my fourth and final year.  I transferred as a junior, which most everyone at my old school advised me against, to get away from all of the awfulness that was SUNY Purchase.

I didn't do so well in high school, well, because it bored me.  I was an indifferent teenager who woke up in the morning hating the institution that I felt forced to go to.  My SAT scores were great, but since my GPA was mediocre I didn't get into the colleges I wanted to.  I had to settled for not my second, not even my third, but my FOURTH choice school, SUNY Purchase, a place that I felt had nothing to offer me.  The campus was a dump (still is) and had no noteworthy programs except for those in the arts.  Once I was there, though I started to feel a little different.  The campus was small, a feature I liked because that meant that I could never get lost, and I made a great group of friends who I considered to be my sisters.  But the longer I stayed, the worse things got for me.  When I was a sophomore I discovered alcohol and lost one of the greatest friends I'd ever had.  Instead I chose to become friends with a girl who had a few problems of her own, and turned all of our mutual friends and acquaintances against me in the beginning of our junior year.  She had a mental issue, which she refused to seek treatment for, and not only lied compulsively, but actually believed them to be true.  One night she started a rumor that I wished her and all of our friends dead, a statement that I in no way even hinted at. Nevertheless, my friends believed her, without even consulting me.  I got cyberbullied and harassed in public.  I didn't even want to leave my room anymore, because I could never go outside without passing someone who hated me.  When I saw someone I knew I was never sure if I could wave hello to them, because I never knew if they would wave back.  Then one of my roommates threatened to kill me.  And then the only friend I had left pulled out of our plans to room with me the following year.

There was nothing left for me at that school.  I knew if I was doomed to spend my senior year in misery and not be proud of the degree that I would earn.  I got so depressed I couldn't even come up with a topic for the senior project that I was supposed to get started on.  Nothing really seemed to matter anymore because I literally had nothing left to loose.  That was when I decided to transfer.  I didn't care how many of my credits transferred over, or if I had to stay a semester or two longer at my new school. I just wanted to get OUT.  When I told my plans to the few acquaintances I had left, they all full out bashed the idea.  They said regardless of my motives, I shouldn't "let" people bother me or get in my way of graduating on time.  I guess that's an easy thing to say when you don't feel depressed to the point that you can't get out of bed in the morning after you've been up all night crying yourself to sleep. They couldn't understand how toxic that environment was for me.  If this had happened to me in high school, people would have been nothing but sympathetic.  But since I was an adult I should be able to "ignore" the bullies, even though they were continuing to viciously attack me every chance they got, despite my attempts to apologize for a comment that I never even made.

I'm happy that I transferred schools.  I'm actually HAPPY.  In a year's time I will have graduated from the number one SUNY school, with excellent grades that I wasn't getting at Purchase.  I have found a peace within myself that I never even dreamed.  That was worth all the risks of transferring.

Forever the honest,
Stephanie Lato

Styrofoam Nation! Have we not Learned Anything from Wall-E?

I make it a habit to not use styrofoam products if I can help it.  But unfortunately in many cases styrofoam cannot be avoided.  Most delis by me put their iced teas in large styrofoam cups.  In fact, in high school I remember people used it as sort of a fashion statement for whatever reason.  The large styrofoam cup symbolized the contents of the cup were the signature iced tea from the most expensive deli in town.  It sounds ridiculous but there were a lot of ridiculous trends in high school, like Uggs and pounds of eyeliner and skipping lunch.  I never got iced teas because they were in these cups.  Styrofoam is not biodegradable.  It is a weird, squeaky substance comprised of so many chemicals that it will never in a million or a hundred million years break down, making it the most harmful daily used material on the planet.

I can admit to not being 100% green.  I drive a car, take my time in the shower, and occasionally use hair spray.  But I have over the years done things to lessen my personal carbon footprint.  I wash clothes with cold water only, open the blinds instead of turning on lights, and take the train if I want to see my friends up island.  But boycotted styrofoam is what I'm most proud of.  If a deli has only styrofoam cups I get an already bottled drink.  If a "to go" box at a restaurant is made of styrofoam I don't use it.  It sounds like little, I know.  But if others started the styrofoam boycott less of it would end up littering our environment.  There are many cases in which styrofoam can be avoided.  Styrofoam peanuts, for example.  NOBODY LIKES STYROFOAM PEANUTS.  I groan every time I open a package and have to dig through those squeaky little crunchy bits because I know I cannot hope to unearth my product without making a mess.  Peanuts are something every company can get rid of and can be easily substituted with something else.  It's not just the use of styrofoam in packaging, but the amount of styrofoam that is used.  I've pulled many small items from inside a great fat womb of styrofoam several inches thicker than my actual product.  I make sure all the styrofoam ends up in the dumpster outside my apartment, but I know many are not so patient and concerned about that.  Styrofoam is bulky, and there is a lot of it.  People wind up breaking chunks of it up into bits, leaving the scraps and beads to fall to the floor or ground, too numerous to pick up.  Why is so much of this weird, alien life form substance being used?  That's what I'd like to know.  Is it because styrofoam is cheap?  Probably.  But that doesn't mean that the amount of styrofoam being used is necessary.  For Earth Day this year, avoid styrofoam like it's the herp!

Forever the honest,
Stephanie Lato

Jekyll & Hyde Club

I've never really been to a theme restaurant besides The Hard Rock Cafe.  The closest thing we have to theme restaurants on Long Islands is Applebee's.  So the last time I went to NYC I went to a themed restaurant!

My two primary doctors have offices in the city and when I go in with my mother for great moral support we also try to do something fun while we're in Manhattan to make the appointments a little less daunting.  This time me and mama played tourist and started out our day with the Ripley's Believe it or not Museum.  Neither of us would suggest going there.  It's a little disappointing.  But it framed out theme of weirdness for the day, so when we got hungry we went off to get some lunch at the Jekyll and Hyde Club in Times Square.  You don't see an entrance to the place, and if you didn't look at the menu out front you wouldn't even know that it was a restaurant.  There is a man in a top hat standing next to the sign and a phone booth.  To enter the restaurant you have to dial the phone and recite the password that the doorman gives you.  When you're accepted in a door at the back of the phone booth will open, leading you to a series of two rooms with one way mirrors and paintings with cut outs through the eyes.    One room would have been enough because, well, we were hungry.  But it was well worth it once we actually got in.  

The place reminds me of the Young Sherlock Holmes movie.  The restaurant is decked out in collectibles from mysterious lands like Africa and the East, places that were still considered somewhat exotic in the early 1900s.  Mounted on the wall were a sphinx head, an elephant head, gargoyles, and crocodile skeletons.  A cabinet of skulls greets you as you walk in before you take your seat in black leather upholstered furniture.  As I took my seat I was able to fully appreciate the menagerie of oddities that were collected.  It was like a mad Victorian scientist used a time machine to collect memorabilia from every decade.  The place had everything from a statue of Zeus to an interactive robot. 

The menu is pretty standard for a theme restaurant: burgers, salads, nachos, stuff like that.  But the food is actually really pretty good, though it may not sound like anything special.  Their drinks are themed to fit the atmosphere, with names like "Elixir" that make you feel like you're drinking a special formula that will either give you superpowers or turn you into a werewolf.  Props to their ginger lime drink.  

As you sip your magic potion and eat your burger the entertainment goes on all around you.  The elephant head, the gargoyle, and the sphinx head all interact with you, singing, and talking, and spouting random facts, while actors come around to your table and keep you company as you eat.  The two actors we had were a young man in a fes and a young German "doctor" with a steampunk eye patch.  They walk around the restaurant, cracking jokes and interacting with the things on the walls, compliment you, and entertain you.  After a while I kind of just wanted to eat my burger without being watched, but otherwise these guys were really a lot of fun.  I think that Jekyll and Hyde is not only a really fun theme, but also a theme that actually works well for a restaurant because it can translate into food, unlike hard rock.  

Forever the honest,

Stephanie Lato     

Is Purity Making a Comeback?

Remember purity rings?  The first time I heard of them was circa 2007 when the Jonas Brothers showed theirs off proudly.  Many people made fun of them choosing to be a virgin, while others were inspired by them and bought their own.  It was an admirable lifestyle choice, but in the end proved to be a fad that died out within a year or two.

On a more recent episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta one of the housewives' daughters took up a vow of celibacy and asked her mother for a purity ring.  I thought the prospect was a little strange because the purity ring did seem to be a fleeting fad when I was her age.  But recently a Facebook friend of mine posted a photo of her new purity ring.  Considering she is in college I'm calling this a bold move and giving her a round of applause.  I remember being the weird kid in high school who boys seemed to be allergic to.  I didn't get my first kiss until I was 17 and felt really behind the curve.  There were people I went to high school with who lost their virginities well before I ever got my first kiss.  I felt like since I wasn't having sex that I was missing out on something.  When a friend of mine would talk about her sexual encounters I felt left out because I had no stories of my own to share.  I never felt pressured to have sex, but I did often feel left out.    

I can honestly say that I have so much respect for someone who openly admits to being a virgin and committing to reserve a special part of themselves for someone who they feel deserves it.  I hope everyone who takes on this endeavor reach their goal of finding that special someone.  I know that sometimes I wish I had chosen someone different.

Forever the honest,
Stephanie Lato

Warning: Your Private Parts may be Offending Someone

Whenever you get a tattoo you feel immediately compelled to 1. text your best friend, and 2. share it on Facebook.  I have one tattoo and I did both of these.  I probably did the second one because I rarely have anything of interest to share on Facebook.  I'll admit that my life isn't that interesting.  I can accept that.  But many people have a tendency to add a third step.  3. give your tattoo a photo shoot!

Body art photo shoots can be, well, awkward.  Not only is the photo shoot for the tattoo, but also for the individual's body.  Getting a tattoo in a place like your chest, belly, thigh, or low on your hipbone give provide the opportunity to take provocative pictures of oneself.  Men show off their rippling pectorals, six pack, or bulging arm muscles.  Even if the tattoo is on an upper chest muscle the picture usually turns into a shirtless, full body photo.  Women similarly take photos of them showing off their flat stomachs, large breasts, or round bootay.

When people are proud of their bodies they love to show them off, and rightfully show.  But sometimes the shoot can get a little awkward.  I've already state that I get uncomfortable for what I feel are displays of over-sexuality.  People sometimes get tattoos in certain place because they feel it makes the tattoo sexy.  For example, the hipbone.  I agree, it's a very sexy place to get a tattoo.  But it's not always sexy when one pulls the side of their pants or panties down to their lady parts to show the tattoo to the world of social networking.  Usually, these photos don't come singularly, or even in pairs, but in a photo shoot in which few clothes are worn, and often worn incorrectly in order to better display the body art.

I have a specific anecdote in mind to further prove my point.  Yes, an anecdote!

Not even a full year ago I was still enrolled in my previous college.  It wasn't unusual for the students to wear few clothes.  One time I spotted a girl wearing her bra outside of her shirt.  But what sticks out in my mind most was the time when I saw a freshly completed tattoo in a rather disturbing spot.  It was early spring and I was enjoying my walk to one of the dining halls to get myself a spot of lunch.  And then I saw it.  A strange, perhaps extraterrestrial, perhaps distorted human figure, rimmed in red, printed on a young woman's thigh.  Her shorts were rolled up on the side of the tattoo and tucked into the underside of her panties to reveal the strange man she bore adjacent to her...will the word labia offend anyone?  For whatever reason my first thought was "It's March.  I'm wearing jeans and a jacket and I'm shaking."  Then I thought, "Tattoos burn the first few hours after you get them done.  I'm sure pants would hurt her leg."  And then I thought, "But a skirt never hurt anyone!  Why am I looking up her crotch right now?"  And I began to blush.  I diverted my gaze as I entered the dining hall.

I have now just proved the yellow section of this picture correct.  When you get a tattoo or piercing people's eyes are drawn to it, and that area in general.  I feel like I'm violating people when they show off their more private tattoos.  Many find it sexy and appealing, but others find it uncomfortable and sometimes even offensive.  Warning: revealing or just barely having the nipple, genitalia, or butt crack covered may be considered offensive to some.

Forever the honest,
Stephanie Lato

"Unicorn Sweat"

Possible notes: Lemon leave, candy corn, lollipops, cloves, honey, firewood, pink lemonade, pine cones, black peppercorns, orange blossoms, vanilla, cherry cola, buttercups, iris, apple cider, garden roses, ginger, mint leaves, cucumber, jasmine, nectar, apricot, coriander, jelly beans, frosting

Even though I probably will never in a million years be able to make this dream bottle of blue sea glass with a silver unicorn prancing across the front, a girl can dream.

And the perfume will contain shimmer, because unicorns sparkle in the moonlight.

The New "Party Attire"

 Sex appeal is an important factor when going to a party, a bar, or a club.  But in recent years some party attire has gone maybe a little too far.  Naturally, we all want to feel desired, and I believe that you should rock whatever makes you feel good about yourself.  But I think a lot of women dress overly sexy because they feel pressured to, and that's really not fair.  This post is for all you girls who aren't comfortable with the typical "party clothes" and want to know what other options are out there.

Sometimes when I go out I feel a little uncomfortable with how of a woman's body is showing.  It's great to be proud of your assets, and I completely respect that.  But the "less is more" mentality runs rampant nowadays, and every year I see fewer and fewer clothes.  I'm not trying to bash anybody or call anyone the "s" word.  I'm just trying to alert women of "going out" fashion faux pas.

Exhibit A is a look I call "Show me your boobies!"  This is unappealing in my opinion because it doesn't leave anything to the imagination.  It lacks sex appeal because it actually removes curiosity.  If someone knows what you look like under your clothes they may feel less inclined to want to...you know.  Also, if the tag to your bra is still attached, people will know your cup size.  Perhaps a little too personal.  How do we fix the look?  Simple.  You wear a tank top under it.  That way it is the illusion that what you're wearing is see-through instead of it actually showing your goods underneath.    

Exhibit B: The corset top.  I'm guilty of wearing one of these with a pair of shorts in the summer that I was 15? 16?  Which means that it has already been out of style TWICE.  In the 80s (Madonna) and in the late years of the early millennia.  How do we make this look better?  Pair it with a pair of panties and wear it in the bedroom.  A corset is an undergarment after all.     

Exhibit C: The bondage look.  Many of us have read 50 Shades of Gray, and if you're like me you got really freaked out by it.  I find the bondage look to be more scary than sexy.  How can this look be fixed?  Wear a t-shirt underneath and a pair of leggings.  It could actually be kind of cute that way, and with a pair of booties it will still be party appropriate.  

Exhibit D: The cloth skirt.  It is a strange trend that a lot of girls are wearing.  It's not necessarily overly sexy, but I am still on the fence about how I feel about it.  Personally, I'd only feel comfortable in one of these if I wore some leggings and a looser fitting shirt with it.  

Exhibit E: The Christmas wrapping look.  It's just really shiny and really tight.  I would choose one or the other in an outfit, personally.  

Exhibit F: Side cutouts.  It's just not a look that's flattering to every figure.  It shortens the body and chops up your look in the wrong ways.  On a long gown it can look stunning, but tight, short dresses are already sexy enough.  Cutouts just cheapen the look.  I don't have a how to fix this look for this one.  I just personally wouldn't wear it.


I just rejected a whole hell of a lot of looks, so what do I wear out?
T-shirt, skirt, and either boots or wedges!  To make it look a little more "night time" I choose a dark colored skirt, paired with either a sparkly T-shirt, or a dark tank top that's trimmed with lace.  Some statement tights are also really fun, like suspender tights, illusion zipper tights, or illusion tattoo tights.  Then I make my makeup a little darker and do my hair.  It makes getting ready really easy and keeps people's eyes on my face, which is where I feel most comfortable with them being.


Example: Stephanie style

Forever the honest,

Stephanie Lato

Get Ready. Bioshock Infinite. February 26, 2013

Trailer-  http://www.bioshockinfinite.com/media/#5gBVZj6ROV0

Spending $34 on Old Navy Jeans and Feeling Cheated, or, The Perfect Pair of Jeans

Yes, I admit to shopping at Old Navy.  I know walking in it feels like a dungeon of scary "modelquins" bearing strange, hungry expressions, guarding a pile of mismatched jeans huddled into a corner, but I like some of their clothes.

Since I first got my womanly curves 7 years ago I've been on a non-stop search for the perfect pair of jeans.  God, and my mama, have blessed me with adorable little legs and a strangely large backside, a tour de force of short, voluptuous beauty that literally seemed to happen over night when I turned 14.  But finding the right pair of pants that fit me properly hasn't been easy.  It's been a journey of bravery, bloodshed, and passion, but I don't want to go into it.  I've tried jeans on in American Eagle (too long, and no room in the back for a donkey), Loft (good length, not snug enough), Lucky Brand (great, but way too long), and Charlotte Russe (way too low-rise), just to name a few.  Still, I struggled...UNTIL...Old Navy came out with the rock-star super skinny jean!  Made for short little women with thighs and buns.  The best part is that when I bend down I don't flash and offend anyone!

I've been eating a whole lot of chocolate and unfortunately the Old Navy jeans I've been wearing for over a year now are sadly too small.  I'm not someone who will wear ill-fitting clothes just because they're a smaller size.  I'll go a size up if it'l flatter my figure more.  So today I went on a trek to Old Navy to buy the next size up and what do you know?  No size 4.  They've got every other size a woman could possibly be, except a size 4.  But, I was in need of new pants, so I bought a size 4 in a different wash, which was fine.  But what wasn't fine was that that one pair of pants was $34.  From Old Navy.  Though I was displeased with the price, considering I'm broke and quite sad about it, I had to buy them because I'm tired of my zipper falling down every few seconds.  I feel a little cheated by Old Navy.  It took me 20 minutes to dig through a ginormous pile of unsorted jeans with very poor help from a sales associate to find these babies, and I do believe they're overpriced.  I'm complaining a bit, but I've been on this pants-seeking mission for quite some time now.  I'm not six feet tall and small bootied, which is how many pants are cut nowadays.  I'm still continuing my search for the perfect pair of jeans for me.  If anyone out there can hear me, please help.

Forever the honest,
Stephanie Lato

Review: A Dance with Dragons

Last night I finally finished George R. R. Martin's fifth book in the series A Song of Ice and Fire, A Dance With Dragons.  Having been denied the story lines of some major characters in the fourth book, namely Tyrion and Daenerys, I was really excited for the fifth book, but somewhat disappointed upon completion.  The entire book was very serious, which is what I appreciate so much about the series.  However, I felt like there was so much confrontation and anguish between characters that the material seemed entirely too dense.

The female characters are the strongest and most compelling in the series.  I had the highest regards for Daenerys and Cersei and Arya because of how strong and entirely fearless they were.  But when a book is full of only strong characters, none of them can be considered strong.  It took me until I was almost finished with the novel to figure this out, when a new character was introduced: Penny the dwarf.  Her cautiousness and naivety broke up the intensely serious material and reintroduced the element of fear (rightfully needed in such an angry, corrupt world).  She was not lusting for power or revenge like the other characters.  Her only concern was making people laugh.  In the previous novels that element of innocence was embodied by Sansa Stark, who was sorely missed in A Dance with Dragons.  Although Penny's character was refreshing she was introduced very late into the novel, giving it enough time for the material to become dense and a little boring.

Many chapters seemed to blur together, many lacking any new developments.  Tyrion's chapters were by and large about his reflection on murdering his father while he was on the toilet and silently making jokes about it in his head.  It felt like he was aboard some sort of boat for the majority of his chapters, and doing little else but talking and thinking about his father.  I felt similarly about Daenerys who sat upon her ebony bench in Mereen for the first half of her chaters,  listening to the pleas of a man who was to be her future husband saying, "Open the fighting pits?" and Daenerys replying, "No, go away (summarization)."  That being said, I can't deny that I loved reading about them.  Their chapters were the ones I wanted to read the most.  I just wish there had been more substance.

I was pleasantly surprised with the re-introduction of Theon Greyjoy, once a self proclaimed prince of Winterfell, and now the tortured, personal slave of Ramsay Bolton, heir to the Dreadfort.  I love Theon Greyjoy.  I feel like I'm not supposed to, but somehow I just can't stay away.  Theon was unloved and misguided and was only trying to fit in.  But even though he tried fitting in with the popular kids (the Starks) and then the emo outcasts (the Greyjoys) Theon never fit in in high school.  We all know a Theon.  The reason why I love him so much is because he is such a tragic character.  His remaining family resents him, he betrayed his foster family to gain the respect that his biological family convinces him he had been denied (though he never actually gained it), slept with countless women to fill the gap inside, only to be tortured and disfigured by a murderer and a rapist.  But does any of that ruin Theon's life?  No!  Since Theon is so hated he has zero obligation to anyone and escapes, taking Ramsay's new bride with him!  Rock on, my new favorite character.  Rock on.

Forever the honest,
Stephanie Lato

To Eat or Not to Eat? That is the Question

Before I get into this post I'm going to state right now that this is not a blog about anorexia.  This is a post about what I eat and how others sometimes not so silently judge me for it.  

The spring semester is starting up soon and the thing I'm looking forward to least of all is going food shopping with my apartmentmates.  Yes, that sounds quite stupid.  But allow me to explain.  One of my roommates has a judgmental side that comes out every time we go grocery shopping together.  As I grab things off the shelves and place them in the cart she will gaze down at the item, raise her eyes to meet mine, and occasionally make a negative comment.  She sometimes attempts to sway me and our other roommate to place the item under scrutiny back on the shelf.  I know that I am blessed in the fact that I will graduate college loan free, and I know that there is hardly a person I know who will be so blessed.  When I assumed that my roommate was disapproving of the food I wished to purchase because we split the bill and she wanted to keep it small, I offered to pay for my own items.  I've told her three times that she need not pay for anything she wasn't going to use or eat.  Still, she continued having an opinion about what I wanted to buy and sometimes even get angry about it.  To make matters worse, her boyfriend is even more judgmental than she is and she has brought him along food shopping with us on more than one occasion   This man doesn't just glare at me, but actually plucks my items out of the cart one by one to study them and then question them and ask me to explain why I want them.   

I have never felt self conscious about what I've eaten but when there is someone in your ear, questioning everything you eat, you start to feel a little depressed.  I've gotten into confrontations with almost every roommate I've ever had and to me this was not something worth having a confrontation over.  So I kept my mouth shut and dealt with my roommate in my own way.  When we went food shopping I would add hardly a thing to the cart, simply because I had no energy to deal with all the bull that was being thrown my way.  And in consequence of that I'd get hungry and have not enough food to satisfy that hunger.  Obviously, this didn't last long.  After a few weeks I got fed up and just tossed whatever I wanted in the cart.  

It may seem like I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill, and that may be true.  But I've never felt self conscious about my weight.  I love my curves.  I think they're beautiful.  I've never had to question my curves before I went grocery shopping with my roommate.  It's people like that who make people question their beauty.  And if I, the mother of self-love, questioned that love that I had for myself for even a second, then I can only imagine how my roommate would make some other young woman feel about herself.  I don't ever go after a woman about her weight.  Beauty comes in every shape and size.  My boyfriend reminds me all the time how beautiful he thinks I am, regardless of my love handles, my untoned butt, or anything else society says isn't sexy.  He thinks they're beautiful and so do I.  I wish there were more people in the world like him.  There is no greater person than someone who makes others feel good about themselves.  

Forever the honest,

Stephanie Lato 

A Little Better Every Day

This March will mark the 11th year anniversary of when I developed my first autoimmune disease.  For the past almost 11 years I've had to take anywhere from 9 to 14 pills daily, an exhausting responsibility for someone so young.  A couple of years ago one of my medications actually gave me a third illness that only recently disappeared.  But now for the good news!

In late August I started what I call my miracle medicine: Humira.  Yeah, it's an injection, which deters a good number of people from it.  But having been poked a prodded by needles for so long I don't mind them anymore.  What's a few seconds of pain, right?  Plus, I need only take it once every two weeks.  

Ready for the even better news?  It treats TWO of my illnesses.  I spoke with my doctor a few weeks ago, and she encouraged me to wean myself off of the nine pills I have needed to take daily for one of my illnesses.  First I dropped down to six pills a day.  Two weeks later (which is now) I'm down to four pills.  Two weeks from now I'll be down to two pills.  And two weeks later-get ready-I need take only ONE PILL a day.  That's it!  One pill a day.  

I'm not gonna lie, these past (almost) 11 years have been exhausting.  It was really awkward sneaking my pills at sleepovers and in the locker room before sports practice with a bunch of judgmental teenage girls giving fleeting glances to the girls undressing around them.  One of my dear friends and I got into an argument when I was at my previous college and he finished it off my calling me a pill popper.  That is by far the single worst thing anyone has ever called me.  Because I really want to shove pills down my throat every day, right?  I didn't even attempt to mend our friendship.  

I have to say Humira is one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me.  Not only is it becoming one of my only medications, but it's TREATING my illnesses.  I'm aggravated that my insurance company didn't approve it years ago, which would have avoided the development of another chronic illness I developed from NSAIDS.  Bravo, Blue Cross Blue Shield!  You have won the award for sucking at your job the most!

Back to the good stuff.  I have a thousand times more energy during the day.  I used to be so tired that I couldn't get out of bed, and start crashing by 7:30 pm.  Now I can get through a whole day.  I can go walking around all day long, up the hills on my campus, in the city, in the cold, and not have stiff, aching joints.  Before Humira I could walk for about fifteen minutes before something would start hurting.  And hills?  That was a joke.  Humira started working after my third injection (insane!) and for the first time in 11 years I feel my age!  

What's the point of this depressing yet uplifting story?  Because it is a momentous occasion for me, a major checkpoint in my life, one that has made me happier than I knew was possible.  Also, because Humira deserves major props.  

Forever the honest,

Stephanie Lato 

Girl Meets World. Let's Talk Disney!

Long ago in a galaxy far far away, Disney Channel talked about the issues kids encountered growing up.  What was probably the most honest, dynamic, and limitless example of this is a little show I grew up watching called Boy Meets World.  This show was so ridiculously popular that MTV2 still shows reruns.  What I appreciated so much about the drama/comedy of Boy Meets World was that it attempted to prepare kids, preteens, and teenagers for the issues they would face that came with a coming of age in a family friendly format.  It stands to reason that the sequel Girls Meets World, a show that would focus on Corey and Topanga's daughter would be a refreshing mirror image of the original, but I sadly doubt it.

Over the years Disney Channel has gone downhill.  After Boy Meets World came Lizzie McGuire, a much enjoyed program about being an insecure pre-teen.  After Lizzie came That's So Raven, a program about a beautiful, confident young woman who has psychic visions that sometimes get her into sticky situations.  Another delightful triumph for Disney.  But after Raven was the beginning of the end: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and Hannah Montana.  These shows were so absurdly family friendly that it actually hurt to watch.  The Suite Life featured to young boys who never seemed to grow up and two young women: one a narcissistic heiress, and the other a boring cashier, each lacking affection, talent, personality, sense of humor, and wit.  Neither possessed any qualities that a young girl could relate to or aspire to have themselves.  And the refusal of the boys of the show to mature made them no better role models for young boys either.  All in all the show was harmless enough compared with Hannah Montana, the premise of which was so absurd that it literally did not make a lick of sense. It was meant to be a show about a girl who was struggling to be two different people while experiencing the troubles of growing up.  In all actuality the main character Miley aka Hannah Montana faced no issues associated with coming of age.  Neither did the character of The Suite Life.  Disney tabooed any and all material relating to sex, alcohol, curiosity with drugs, bullying, family tragedies, or anything else that real kids struggle with.  What I appreciated so much about Boy Meets World was that nothing was tabooed.  Corey's parents talk to him about sex.  Corey and Shawn experimented with alcohol.  Religious views and views on the lower class were featured at times.  The characters ran away from home, experienced an accurate prom night, and kissed in front of a live studio audience.  When the characters got older they showed us the problems we might experience when going away to college and getting married.  They prepared us for the real world.  But with the way Disney is now, I do not expect the same issues to be addressed in its sequel.

As I got older and faced many of my own issues I found myself remembering an episode of Boy Meets World.  And whether it actually gave me guidance or not, whatever episode my situation related to stuck with me.  What did Topanga do in my situation?  What would Corey do?  These characters stuck out to me as role models and I remembered them.

What I want from Disney are shows that talk to kids about alcohol, bullying, responsibility, sexuality (whatever that sexuality might be), and morality.  If Girls Meets World accomplishes even half of what Boy Meets World did it would be a much needed refreshment.  If it mirrors the shows aired in more recent years on Disney Channel, it will be a lost opportunity.

Forever the honest,
Stephanie Lato