Baby Making for Dummies

I lost touch with a hell of a lot of people when I graduated high school, but thanks to Facebook I have the creepy ability to check up on them whenever I get curious.  What I came across was alarming.  Four of my girlfriends already have children.  One of my former friends is married, another engaged.  Even though I'm not into the whole premarital giving birth thing, and even though I assume these girlfriends of mine had to drop out of college, I feel as though I'm behind the curve somehow.

Though I wouldn't have a baby at this point in my life, I find myself wondering why others do.  Was it irresponsibility?  Do they not believe in abortion?  Or did they really feel like they wanted to bare and raise a child?  I have conflicting views about this.  I respect the courageousness of these young women to be willing to raise a child out of wedlock and sacrifice certain things in order to raise the baby.  That takes guts and that takes work.  While I admire their determination I feel that I'm also conflicted with their decision.  At age 21 I am not ready to raise a child, since I am still learning how to take care of myself.  I've also put a hell of a lot of time, money, and energy into college, and I would hate for that to be compromised in any way.  When I found out some of them were pregnant I felt bad for them at first. To me it was an "oops!" moment, an unfortunate little surprise.

I'm not saying these women are bad people or bad mothers, nor would I ever wish that upon them.  I am not saying that their choice was the wrong choice either.  Just because their choice isn't right for me doesn't mean that it wasn't right for them.  I just can't help but wonder.  Most people my age are in the mindset to earn a college degree and are terrified about not having the proper qualifications to get a job.  But these women have found their happiness without that.  Society still frowns upon their deviancy from the norm, and I'll admit that I dont understand their choice either.  But I wonder why we have such a tendency to look down upon those people?  It surely can't be because we think they're lazy.  Raising a baby is a lot of work.  Just ask your mother.  But why are these women cast in a somewhat negative light and why at the same time do I feel like I'm missing out on something?  I guess I won't know until I have one of those little monkeys running around, myself.  Though not just yet.  I'm not exactly into that at this moment.

What age should we have children?  Society says when you're married, but even early marriage has its stigmas.  People tend to look down upon women who have children too young, and sympathize with women who want children but can't because they are middle aged.  Society says it is appropriate to have a child once you have established a career for yourself.  It is only when you are successful that you are permitted to have children, guilt free.  But before then, you're only seen to have an "oops" moment.

Forever the honest,
Stephanie Lato