"Unicorn Sweat"

Possible notes: Lemon leave, candy corn, lollipops, cloves, honey, firewood, pink lemonade, pine cones, black peppercorns, orange blossoms, vanilla, cherry cola, buttercups, iris, apple cider, garden roses, ginger, mint leaves, cucumber, jasmine, nectar, apricot, coriander, jelly beans, frosting

Even though I probably will never in a million years be able to make this dream bottle of blue sea glass with a silver unicorn prancing across the front, a girl can dream.

And the perfume will contain shimmer, because unicorns sparkle in the moonlight.

The New "Party Attire"

 Sex appeal is an important factor when going to a party, a bar, or a club.  But in recent years some party attire has gone maybe a little too far.  Naturally, we all want to feel desired, and I believe that you should rock whatever makes you feel good about yourself.  But I think a lot of women dress overly sexy because they feel pressured to, and that's really not fair.  This post is for all you girls who aren't comfortable with the typical "party clothes" and want to know what other options are out there.

Sometimes when I go out I feel a little uncomfortable with how of a woman's body is showing.  It's great to be proud of your assets, and I completely respect that.  But the "less is more" mentality runs rampant nowadays, and every year I see fewer and fewer clothes.  I'm not trying to bash anybody or call anyone the "s" word.  I'm just trying to alert women of "going out" fashion faux pas.

Exhibit A is a look I call "Show me your boobies!"  This is unappealing in my opinion because it doesn't leave anything to the imagination.  It lacks sex appeal because it actually removes curiosity.  If someone knows what you look like under your clothes they may feel less inclined to want to...you know.  Also, if the tag to your bra is still attached, people will know your cup size.  Perhaps a little too personal.  How do we fix the look?  Simple.  You wear a tank top under it.  That way it is the illusion that what you're wearing is see-through instead of it actually showing your goods underneath.    

Exhibit B: The corset top.  I'm guilty of wearing one of these with a pair of shorts in the summer that I was 15? 16?  Which means that it has already been out of style TWICE.  In the 80s (Madonna) and in the late years of the early millennia.  How do we make this look better?  Pair it with a pair of panties and wear it in the bedroom.  A corset is an undergarment after all.     

Exhibit C: The bondage look.  Many of us have read 50 Shades of Gray, and if you're like me you got really freaked out by it.  I find the bondage look to be more scary than sexy.  How can this look be fixed?  Wear a t-shirt underneath and a pair of leggings.  It could actually be kind of cute that way, and with a pair of booties it will still be party appropriate.  

Exhibit D: The cloth skirt.  It is a strange trend that a lot of girls are wearing.  It's not necessarily overly sexy, but I am still on the fence about how I feel about it.  Personally, I'd only feel comfortable in one of these if I wore some leggings and a looser fitting shirt with it.  

Exhibit E: The Christmas wrapping look.  It's just really shiny and really tight.  I would choose one or the other in an outfit, personally.  

Exhibit F: Side cutouts.  It's just not a look that's flattering to every figure.  It shortens the body and chops up your look in the wrong ways.  On a long gown it can look stunning, but tight, short dresses are already sexy enough.  Cutouts just cheapen the look.  I don't have a how to fix this look for this one.  I just personally wouldn't wear it.


I just rejected a whole hell of a lot of looks, so what do I wear out?
T-shirt, skirt, and either boots or wedges!  To make it look a little more "night time" I choose a dark colored skirt, paired with either a sparkly T-shirt, or a dark tank top that's trimmed with lace.  Some statement tights are also really fun, like suspender tights, illusion zipper tights, or illusion tattoo tights.  Then I make my makeup a little darker and do my hair.  It makes getting ready really easy and keeps people's eyes on my face, which is where I feel most comfortable with them being.


Example: Stephanie style

Forever the honest,

Stephanie Lato

Get Ready. Bioshock Infinite. February 26, 2013

Trailer-  http://www.bioshockinfinite.com/media/#5gBVZj6ROV0

Spending $34 on Old Navy Jeans and Feeling Cheated, or, The Perfect Pair of Jeans

Yes, I admit to shopping at Old Navy.  I know walking in it feels like a dungeon of scary "modelquins" bearing strange, hungry expressions, guarding a pile of mismatched jeans huddled into a corner, but I like some of their clothes.

Since I first got my womanly curves 7 years ago I've been on a non-stop search for the perfect pair of jeans.  God, and my mama, have blessed me with adorable little legs and a strangely large backside, a tour de force of short, voluptuous beauty that literally seemed to happen over night when I turned 14.  But finding the right pair of pants that fit me properly hasn't been easy.  It's been a journey of bravery, bloodshed, and passion, but I don't want to go into it.  I've tried jeans on in American Eagle (too long, and no room in the back for a donkey), Loft (good length, not snug enough), Lucky Brand (great, but way too long), and Charlotte Russe (way too low-rise), just to name a few.  Still, I struggled...UNTIL...Old Navy came out with the rock-star super skinny jean!  Made for short little women with thighs and buns.  The best part is that when I bend down I don't flash and offend anyone!

I've been eating a whole lot of chocolate and unfortunately the Old Navy jeans I've been wearing for over a year now are sadly too small.  I'm not someone who will wear ill-fitting clothes just because they're a smaller size.  I'll go a size up if it'l flatter my figure more.  So today I went on a trek to Old Navy to buy the next size up and what do you know?  No size 4.  They've got every other size a woman could possibly be, except a size 4.  But, I was in need of new pants, so I bought a size 4 in a different wash, which was fine.  But what wasn't fine was that that one pair of pants was $34.  From Old Navy.  Though I was displeased with the price, considering I'm broke and quite sad about it, I had to buy them because I'm tired of my zipper falling down every few seconds.  I feel a little cheated by Old Navy.  It took me 20 minutes to dig through a ginormous pile of unsorted jeans with very poor help from a sales associate to find these babies, and I do believe they're overpriced.  I'm complaining a bit, but I've been on this pants-seeking mission for quite some time now.  I'm not six feet tall and small bootied, which is how many pants are cut nowadays.  I'm still continuing my search for the perfect pair of jeans for me.  If anyone out there can hear me, please help.

Forever the honest,
Stephanie Lato

Review: A Dance with Dragons

Last night I finally finished George R. R. Martin's fifth book in the series A Song of Ice and Fire, A Dance With Dragons.  Having been denied the story lines of some major characters in the fourth book, namely Tyrion and Daenerys, I was really excited for the fifth book, but somewhat disappointed upon completion.  The entire book was very serious, which is what I appreciate so much about the series.  However, I felt like there was so much confrontation and anguish between characters that the material seemed entirely too dense.

The female characters are the strongest and most compelling in the series.  I had the highest regards for Daenerys and Cersei and Arya because of how strong and entirely fearless they were.  But when a book is full of only strong characters, none of them can be considered strong.  It took me until I was almost finished with the novel to figure this out, when a new character was introduced: Penny the dwarf.  Her cautiousness and naivety broke up the intensely serious material and reintroduced the element of fear (rightfully needed in such an angry, corrupt world).  She was not lusting for power or revenge like the other characters.  Her only concern was making people laugh.  In the previous novels that element of innocence was embodied by Sansa Stark, who was sorely missed in A Dance with Dragons.  Although Penny's character was refreshing she was introduced very late into the novel, giving it enough time for the material to become dense and a little boring.

Many chapters seemed to blur together, many lacking any new developments.  Tyrion's chapters were by and large about his reflection on murdering his father while he was on the toilet and silently making jokes about it in his head.  It felt like he was aboard some sort of boat for the majority of his chapters, and doing little else but talking and thinking about his father.  I felt similarly about Daenerys who sat upon her ebony bench in Mereen for the first half of her chaters,  listening to the pleas of a man who was to be her future husband saying, "Open the fighting pits?" and Daenerys replying, "No, go away (summarization)."  That being said, I can't deny that I loved reading about them.  Their chapters were the ones I wanted to read the most.  I just wish there had been more substance.

I was pleasantly surprised with the re-introduction of Theon Greyjoy, once a self proclaimed prince of Winterfell, and now the tortured, personal slave of Ramsay Bolton, heir to the Dreadfort.  I love Theon Greyjoy.  I feel like I'm not supposed to, but somehow I just can't stay away.  Theon was unloved and misguided and was only trying to fit in.  But even though he tried fitting in with the popular kids (the Starks) and then the emo outcasts (the Greyjoys) Theon never fit in in high school.  We all know a Theon.  The reason why I love him so much is because he is such a tragic character.  His remaining family resents him, he betrayed his foster family to gain the respect that his biological family convinces him he had been denied (though he never actually gained it), slept with countless women to fill the gap inside, only to be tortured and disfigured by a murderer and a rapist.  But does any of that ruin Theon's life?  No!  Since Theon is so hated he has zero obligation to anyone and escapes, taking Ramsay's new bride with him!  Rock on, my new favorite character.  Rock on.

Forever the honest,
Stephanie Lato

To Eat or Not to Eat? That is the Question

Before I get into this post I'm going to state right now that this is not a blog about anorexia.  This is a post about what I eat and how others sometimes not so silently judge me for it.  

The spring semester is starting up soon and the thing I'm looking forward to least of all is going food shopping with my apartmentmates.  Yes, that sounds quite stupid.  But allow me to explain.  One of my roommates has a judgmental side that comes out every time we go grocery shopping together.  As I grab things off the shelves and place them in the cart she will gaze down at the item, raise her eyes to meet mine, and occasionally make a negative comment.  She sometimes attempts to sway me and our other roommate to place the item under scrutiny back on the shelf.  I know that I am blessed in the fact that I will graduate college loan free, and I know that there is hardly a person I know who will be so blessed.  When I assumed that my roommate was disapproving of the food I wished to purchase because we split the bill and she wanted to keep it small, I offered to pay for my own items.  I've told her three times that she need not pay for anything she wasn't going to use or eat.  Still, she continued having an opinion about what I wanted to buy and sometimes even get angry about it.  To make matters worse, her boyfriend is even more judgmental than she is and she has brought him along food shopping with us on more than one occasion   This man doesn't just glare at me, but actually plucks my items out of the cart one by one to study them and then question them and ask me to explain why I want them.   

I have never felt self conscious about what I've eaten but when there is someone in your ear, questioning everything you eat, you start to feel a little depressed.  I've gotten into confrontations with almost every roommate I've ever had and to me this was not something worth having a confrontation over.  So I kept my mouth shut and dealt with my roommate in my own way.  When we went food shopping I would add hardly a thing to the cart, simply because I had no energy to deal with all the bull that was being thrown my way.  And in consequence of that I'd get hungry and have not enough food to satisfy that hunger.  Obviously, this didn't last long.  After a few weeks I got fed up and just tossed whatever I wanted in the cart.  

It may seem like I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill, and that may be true.  But I've never felt self conscious about my weight.  I love my curves.  I think they're beautiful.  I've never had to question my curves before I went grocery shopping with my roommate.  It's people like that who make people question their beauty.  And if I, the mother of self-love, questioned that love that I had for myself for even a second, then I can only imagine how my roommate would make some other young woman feel about herself.  I don't ever go after a woman about her weight.  Beauty comes in every shape and size.  My boyfriend reminds me all the time how beautiful he thinks I am, regardless of my love handles, my untoned butt, or anything else society says isn't sexy.  He thinks they're beautiful and so do I.  I wish there were more people in the world like him.  There is no greater person than someone who makes others feel good about themselves.  

Forever the honest,

Stephanie Lato 

A Little Better Every Day

This March will mark the 11th year anniversary of when I developed my first autoimmune disease.  For the past almost 11 years I've had to take anywhere from 9 to 14 pills daily, an exhausting responsibility for someone so young.  A couple of years ago one of my medications actually gave me a third illness that only recently disappeared.  But now for the good news!

In late August I started what I call my miracle medicine: Humira.  Yeah, it's an injection, which deters a good number of people from it.  But having been poked a prodded by needles for so long I don't mind them anymore.  What's a few seconds of pain, right?  Plus, I need only take it once every two weeks.  

Ready for the even better news?  It treats TWO of my illnesses.  I spoke with my doctor a few weeks ago, and she encouraged me to wean myself off of the nine pills I have needed to take daily for one of my illnesses.  First I dropped down to six pills a day.  Two weeks later (which is now) I'm down to four pills.  Two weeks from now I'll be down to two pills.  And two weeks later-get ready-I need take only ONE PILL a day.  That's it!  One pill a day.  

I'm not gonna lie, these past (almost) 11 years have been exhausting.  It was really awkward sneaking my pills at sleepovers and in the locker room before sports practice with a bunch of judgmental teenage girls giving fleeting glances to the girls undressing around them.  One of my dear friends and I got into an argument when I was at my previous college and he finished it off my calling me a pill popper.  That is by far the single worst thing anyone has ever called me.  Because I really want to shove pills down my throat every day, right?  I didn't even attempt to mend our friendship.  

I have to say Humira is one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me.  Not only is it becoming one of my only medications, but it's TREATING my illnesses.  I'm aggravated that my insurance company didn't approve it years ago, which would have avoided the development of another chronic illness I developed from NSAIDS.  Bravo, Blue Cross Blue Shield!  You have won the award for sucking at your job the most!

Back to the good stuff.  I have a thousand times more energy during the day.  I used to be so tired that I couldn't get out of bed, and start crashing by 7:30 pm.  Now I can get through a whole day.  I can go walking around all day long, up the hills on my campus, in the city, in the cold, and not have stiff, aching joints.  Before Humira I could walk for about fifteen minutes before something would start hurting.  And hills?  That was a joke.  Humira started working after my third injection (insane!) and for the first time in 11 years I feel my age!  

What's the point of this depressing yet uplifting story?  Because it is a momentous occasion for me, a major checkpoint in my life, one that has made me happier than I knew was possible.  Also, because Humira deserves major props.  

Forever the honest,

Stephanie Lato